July is here. Know how I know? Not fireworks, and not 86 degrees. It’s the feeling of joints giving, muscles straining, tendons popping as I stretch in opposite directions to the point of becoming warped and unrecognizable.
Yesterday punch drunk clowns, today Stretch Armstrong. Both plastic and a little creepy, but maybe as long as life is a series of toys from the 70’s and not weapons of mass destruction I’m doing ok? July is famous for pulling in at LEAST four directions, maybe a fifth although I can’t remember if the gooey guy’s head had any give to it or if it just popped off, which I’ve already written about and survived the threat of SO, just the four directions will do for today. Home, work, friends, and the great outdoors are the obvious culprits, all clutching a limb and pulling a body in opposite directions. Not so general but just as grabby? Dogs and horse each seize a leg, artwork and exercise each yank on an arm, and all of a sudden I’m quartered. Want more? Community service, out of town friends in for too short a time, summer holidays births and deaths that need celebrated, lettuce crowding the next row, fridge constantly running low, phone ringing, UPS delivering, dinner burning, nature calling (literally nature, calling – get your mind out of the potty), patience dwindling, time ticking, Stretch Armstrong stretching.
This is quintessential July. On any given day – they’re getting shorter by the way which adds torque to all the pulling – I know I will have to say no 3 times for every yes just to keep all my limbs intact, which feels like a ragdoll being tossed more than pulled. But I’ll save Raggedy Ann (and stuffed rabbits with real eyes) for tomorrow’s parade of toys. I’m lucky to have so much I can and want to do, and glad I’ve got enough elastic in me to go in a few directions. Old Stretch always made his way back to normal if you left him alone long enough. I think the secret to surviving July may just be the unwarping power of a good night’s sleep to put all the pieces back where they belong.